|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| i was trying to look for a quote which would express my thoughts, but i cant seem to find one.
im so confused. i dont understand people, i dont understand my friends, i dont understand relationships and more than anything i dont understand myself. ive always believed that if you're good to people, people will be good to you. yeah i know it might be some sorta stupid idealistic thought, but i really do believe like if you arent doing anything wrong to someone, they wont do something wrong to you. ive always thought being patient would result in some sort of positive change. i always thought giving someone multiple chances would lead them to realize that you arent such a bad person and you do have a good heart. i always thought that when people see you are good, regardless of their stupid actions, they would never act that way with you. i live in a stupid dream world where people recognize good people and treat them nicely. how stupid am i to think that actually happens in real life?
my biggest issue seems to be trust with all the people in my life. im so hesitant about letting people become close to me because i dont trust people anymore. those close to me have hurt me more than i could've even imagined. when you trust someone, you're giving them the power to hurt you, but you know that they wont. WRONGG!!! stupid shady ass people in this world just care about themselves and what makes them happy, even if its at the expense of someone else.
i dont wanna say too much because im really trying not to think about this right now, but all i can say is i truly am happy to leave and get the fuck outa here. i dont wanna be here around people who dont have any sort of consideration or loyalty towards their friends and have fun at the expense of others. i dont think things will ever be the same, and sadly i think im okay with that because i know i havent done anything wrong. im starting to believe id rather be an uptight bitch than a trusting friend. At least i know my friends will think twice about behaving a certain way with me. FRIENDS.. haha jOKE! at least i know people will think twice about behaving a certain way with me.
| | |
| i dont know where to start. i had one of these a few years back and i deleted it cause i'm impulsive. haha go figure! it's okay, things have changed!!.. wow.. second year of college to.. post grad.. pre-medical.. yikes!
i have so many random thoughts running around in my mind, i figured writing in here would be better than trying to actually convey them to someone... understood this is a public post, but really sometimes posting such things randomly seems to be of more help than actually venting out to a person. not that my friends dont help.. they do MOREE than thatt.. but u know sometimes you just have random thoughts u need to get out of your system.. and instead of burdening someone with.. hey listen to me talk about a buncha nonsense that makes absolutelyy nooo sensee.. i figured id write in here. plus they arent complete thoughts. they are random thoughts, that dont really have endings. haha here i go, explaining myself.. i need to stop!
ive been thinking a lot.. especially at work cause i dont like to do my work. correction! i do my work, and my coworkers' work..and yett i have time to think, haha i wonder!
im scared about leaving.. more now than before cause i keep having these weird ass dreams about how im missing my flight, and im leaving stuff behind and i break down crying on my way to the airport saying " I DONT WANNNA GOOOOO!!!" AHHH! why is this happeninG?! im soooo excited to go haha but yet im scared. i started shopping for what i need to take and its weird to think IM the only one going. its so different with family and what not, but im going by myself. boo =(
i had an epiphany the other day. i have yet to publicly state that. haha and its not happening on here!
im very excited about my florida trip and the wedding.. itll be sooo fun!!! haha everythings happening so fast, i dono what to do! im confused in life. and i dont even know about what!
i bought sooo many pj bottoms today.. and they are sooo comfy. i just wanna wear them all.. at the same time.. all day everyday!
time is flying by so fast.. my sisters 17..already.. i remember when my mom was pregnant with her..and i told my mom i wanted a little sister so we could be best friends. haha look at us today.. she reallly is a part of me! awww my baby's growing up. im so sad i wont be here for her prom and all her other big senior activities! =(
im gay and sleepy and i dont know why im up writing this.
more to come. hahah after i quit my job..SUCKAAAAAAAAAAAASS! hahah that reminds me of when i emailed a buncha peeps..including my dad..and i ended it with.>SUCKASS! .. meaning suckas.. and my dad wrote back to me saying ".. you shouldnt say suck ass to people .. its not proper" hahahah!! i was like okayyy dad.. and i told him it was suckas..and he said.. go re-read ur email! haha gnite!
| | |
|
